THE ‘G’ WORD

“Do you believe there is a God up there ?” a friend of mine asked pointing upwards.

OK,where did that come from. I was speechless for a moment.I mean,it just came out of the blue ,that too from a guy who moments ago was talking about stuff like how coffee rates had gone up in CCD which made him spend more on the gal whom he was trying hard to make  his girlfriend (inflation has hit everyone u see),about how the new i Phone was baap of all mobile phones, and on how Bacardi had lost its smoothness (I nodded even though I had no clue, I don’t drink u see,now don’t u dare scorn).

Anyway, this question though was a no brainer,”Yes” was my obvious answer.

“Why?” he asked.

“Well…ah…um.. hmmm!!!”

Well come up with something you moron,anything.Its so simple, its so basic.Why do I believe in god,i thought, well ahh, coz my mom asked me to, coz of all the stories I read,all the serials I had enjoyed, coz of all the temples I had been to, coz of all the rituals and festivals I had been part of, coz of… coz of…huh..OK..suddenly I realized I only had experience of being with all those who believed in god than of actual questioning of my own belief.Not that obvious huh .. Mr. I know it all coz I am a MBA guy.

OK, No time for thinking about that, my intelligence was at stake here now, it called for some immediate damage control…. lets see..lets see.. uhh” I believe, I believe (sounds like lyrics of an Enrique song).. well I believe there is this invisible force which sees everything is in order around us..some call it nature.. I call it god”.. ha aah.. finally an answer ,something to salvage my claim to rationalism.I don’t know what i said, it sounded good ,that’s good enough.Huh, all the money spent on English schooling was worthwhile.

He nodded his head and was about to ask something else when his mobile rang.Saved by the bell I thought,God knows what questions he might have asked next.I decided to take his leave and head towards home.On my way back,no matter how hard I tried I just could not get my mind off that question.He had stirred a lot of emotions in me, i mean in a very asexual intellectual way.I was angry, firstly at him, I mean what was wrong with that guy.Couldn’t he just ask something on all the basic stuff that guys converse about like girls,cricket, girls, movies, girls, F1,Gizmos,girls, Internet and of course girls.Couldnt he just blabber away, like he always does, about his dream girlfriend who at this very moment was making someone else feel the pinch of inflation.Couldnt he just give me the luxury of nodding while he went on with his booze exploits.Couldnt he just not bring up the G word.

I was angry on myself, how could I not know why do I do things that I do on a daily basis.Why do I pray,Why do I go to a temple every now and then,why do I bow down there.Why do I write symbols on my answer paper, why do I put powders of weird colours on my forehead, why do I drink sips of water flowing near the temple.Well its not just what I do that was questioned but also what I dont do.Why dont i use curse words in temple, why don’t I eat outside during festivals, why dont I step on books, why dont I extinguish the lamp lit in the pooja room.Why don’t I do that.The answer is simple, I dont know.I might call it faith and project myself as a philosopher, but the fact is, I just dont know.I dont know if its fear, faith or fanatism, I dont know if its right wrong or plane stupid, for sometimes I dont even know if its me doing it.But what I do know is that it works.In some unimaginable superficial level it works, then why wreck it.

Let me put it this way, most of us drive cars or bikes.But how many of us know how it works.All we know is whats it for and what makes it work.But how does it work, who knows, who cares.You could say the same with faith in god.Some may argue that machine is something tangible if you put in some thought you get the concept as to how it works, but the so called ways of god is incomprehensible and illogical.Well I would say thats the beauty of it, that’s why you don’t declare national holiday on birthday of a mechanic you see.Science most atheists believe is the answer to god. I mean science they say is the basically the art of questioning.But no matter which concept of science you take up a series of WHYs asked would always end up with an answer “God knows” or as some over intelligent scientist would say… “Its energy you see and energy you see cant be defined  created nor destroyed,just harnessed”, well for me thats science’s way of saying “I have no f@#$king clue what the answer is”.For me that’s enough.

Many friends of mine are atheists.Most of them quote all the miseries in the world to say that there is no god.They ask questions like,if there is god then why do people die, good people suffer, system exploit you, why is there poverty every where etc etc.I really don’t know and I am not one of those who would hide behind the concept of Karma to avoid these as on a personal level it does not help knowing you are being punished for old sins (then gods worse than ICICI bank in terms of charging you).But what I do know is when the pain is unbearable, shame irreparable, death unavoidable, its always better to know that all the good things done ,though forgotten by all,wasn’t all a waste.That you can let go and still things may work out, and that even though you have lost someone,you have let them go to a place where they wont have to endure the pain that they had endured or can be more happy than they ever where among you. So all I can say that if God is just a thought, then he is just a wonderful wonderful one to have.

The reason why I think this question arises is because people mix up faith and religion.I am pretty averse to the question asked “Whats your faith?” and you are supposed to name a religion.Faith according to me is a common ideal.No matter if the god you belive has hundred arms,eyes, in a robe or a linen cloth or any attire, what everyone belives he does is the same.So faith prevails.Ya ya I know,I sound like a Primary school teacher but whatever.

One major reason ,I think, this question arises is because we have lost the ability to wonder.Me and a few friends had been to a beach last month.While many of us were looking at the sun set a friend of mine was looking at his car as a team was playing near by.The same thing happened again near a falls,while I stared at the sheer magnanimity of this amazing gush of water a friend of mine was busy talking on the phone.We have turned into these know it all super beings that we fail to just see the amount of perfection everywhere,in the colors of the sky, the  distance from the sun, the mixture of gases, the cycle of seasons ec etc , we never question that .Its only when this facade of control is shattered the questions arise.

Finally the main reason I believe in god is that I want someone to blame.For all the things gone wrong, for all my goof ups, for all my mess ups, I just want someone to show a finger at or just close my eyes and say “it wasn’t me” and that people may actually fall for it is.This, though cowardly but, is a wonderful relief.

I personally belive that over a period of time I have struck an agreement with god,a truce after all the fights, the terms of which are simple,”I wont mess with his busssiness and he wont with mine.”Has been working so far, lets see.